You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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