what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
