with your own penis?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize