Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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