im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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