There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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