yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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