Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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