to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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