At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
