she woke up with a sticky ear
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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