Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
