I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The ass gains better be worth it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
