First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
