Fine. I'll sleep in my office
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
