Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
