i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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