Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
