Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
