The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
