We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize