i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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