on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
