Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
