so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
