hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
