Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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