Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
