dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He better not be in your backpack
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
