i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm passing your future prison.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
