I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
