never play flip cup with pint glasses
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
