the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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