i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
