**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I am naked and annoyed.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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