His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Randomize
