I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
