Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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