Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
