Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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