I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
