Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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