I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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