Swine flu. Run for my life!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
