My hand turned me down
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
