You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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