im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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