I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
