his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
