just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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