I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
