fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
