there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
