Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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