He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
