I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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