Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
