I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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