Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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