Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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