Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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