are you still at the devil's house?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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